| OKJones | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Commander |  |
| | Group: Klikan
| | Location: Argir | | Joined: 12.06.06 | | Posted on 24-01-2012 09:41 |
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Scrolls of Kilburn:
“And Lo, the leader didst appear before the people, and his name was Professor, or one who speaks the truth.
And the people didst flock unto him, for upon his head was a magic hat. And yea, he did deliver unto them a double, and there was much rejoicing throughout the land.
And he looked upon his works, and they were good. But, lo, he decided he could do more and thus he looked into heart of the Rothman’s yearbook to find new peaks to conquer.
And so it came to pass that he didst assemble a team of much might and vigour. And they didst conquer all who came before them, verily like a steamroller flattening all in its path. And Invincibles was their name.
But even as their strength waxed mighty, the seeds of doom were finding purchase. For mighty warriors though they were, some amongst them had agents who dripped poison into their ears, whispering of riches and honour in other kingdoms.
And others of their number looked upon their knees and their ankles and saw that they had passed the flush of youth and were now poor, withered things. And the great leader didst sell them for gold to foolish men.
Yet, while his cloak was filled with gold, he didst not go to the slave market and buy new warriors. But instead the BOARD spake unto him and commanded him to give them the gold to buy a new temple.
And the people grew restless, but the leader didst go out amongst them and he spoke of a future he foresaw, where golden youths would play a passing game that passeth all understanding.
And the midfield would trianguleth the ball to one another in such a way that all who came before them would quail at their skills.
And the people were content at this time to believe the leader, and did hail the dawn of tippy tappy.
But mysterious are the ways of the Premier League, and it did come to pass that for many years a famine did fall upon the land, and the people did cry out to the BOARD and the leader for relief.
And the mighty cabinet of trophies that they had built in their new temple stood empty, and all gazed upon its emptiness and did wail and gnash their teeth.
And across the way their old temple stood ruined and desecrated, and it seemed to the people as if their spirit had evaporatedeth into the sky above the road of Holloway.
And the leader did look upon his creation and he thought unto himself that he could do with a bit of mercurial talent
And so he offered unto the people a magician from the East.
And the people rejoiced, for this magician was short in stature but mighty in spirit, and looketh like the Owl who abideth in the barn, or at a sanctuary.
And he didst make himself beloved of the people early doors by going to the mighty fortress of the reds and smiting them four times.
But he was a false prophet and flattereth to deceiveth. And he didst grow increasing fat, yea, as doth the pig before slaughter, and his work-rate appallethed all who looked upon it.
And things went from bad to worseth, as the boy king called FABREGAS decided to forsake the leader and return to his homeland. For his very bones and blood made him do it, said his new teammates.
And it came to pass that the leader didst take his team to the rainy city of the north, where his great enemy dwelt amongst his hideous horde.
And his enemy dealt unto the leader a right spanking, smiting his team eight grievous blows. And he retuned to the new temple chastened, as like the hound with its tail betweeneth its legs.
And the leader didst cast around him for solace, but he foundeth that people grew restive and no longer heeded his entreaties.
And so he offered unto the people an Ox, and the people were once again happy,
But then the leader took the Ox from them and gave them the Owl and the people wailed and did rend their garments.
And yea, they didst flock unto Twitter to decry the leader with intemperate violence.
And the leader didst dash his vessel of water upon the ground and thought unto himself, these people are fickle and like a child. For did I not prophesy that their appetite for sausage would be spoiled by caviar?
But the leader stucketh to his guns, and the BOARD stucketh by him, for they kneweth when they were on to a good thing.
For what profiteth a board if they sack their manager who saveth them money?
And lo, the leader didst prophecy that his players would return from their ailments, and verily they would be Like a New Signing.
And it came to pass, and results did improve mightily, and the team stringeth back-to-back wins together.
And lo, they reached the promised land of fourth place and the people rejoiced. For they had no sense of shame, nor of perspective, and thought not of their previous anger with the leader.
And the leader didst celebrate too, and to show his pleasure he brought unto the club two 13 year old Peruvians around which to build for the future.
And things went on as they had been, yea, even until the end of days.”
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Why would I want to end every post the same way? |
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| Vuzman | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Admiral | |
| | Group: Klikan,
Outsiders,
Administrator,
Regulars
| | Location: Copenhagen, DK | | Joined: 10.06.06 | | Posted on 24-01-2012 09:54 |
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TL;DR
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When I kill her, I'll have her
Die white girls, die white girls |
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| Yutani | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Regular |  |
| | Group: Klikan
| | Location: Faroe Islands | | Joined: 08.06.06 | | Posted on 01-02-2012 23:23 |
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Yutani attached the following image:
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| Boddin | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Regular | |
| | Group: Klikan
| | Location: Copenhagen | | Joined: 19.06.06 | | Posted on 02-02-2012 23:16 |
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Hell yea
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Boddin attached the following image:
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| Yutani | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Regular | |
| | Group: Klikan
| | Location: Faroe Islands | | Joined: 08.06.06 | | Posted on 07-02-2012 19:51 |
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Yutani attached the following image:
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| Boddin | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Regular | |
| | Group: Klikan
| | Location: Copenhagen | | Joined: 19.06.06 | | Posted on 08-02-2012 09:38 |
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Guess I'm Joe Public / John Q / Hr. Hansen
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| Jogvanth | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | General | |
| | Group: Klikan
| | Location: Hoyvík | | Joined: 08.06.06 | | Posted on 09-02-2012 18:05 |
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No decision is so fine as to not bind us to its consequences.
No consequence is so unexpected as to absolve us of our decisions.
Not even death.
-R. Scott Bakker. 'The Prince of Nothing'
Jogvanth attached the following image:
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Edited by Jogvanth on 09-02-2012 18:06 |
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| Norlander | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Field Marshal | |
| | Group: Administrator,
Klikan,
Regulars,
Outsiders
| | Location: Copenhagen | | Joined: 09.06.06 | | Posted on 16-02-2012 05:54 |
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Edit: reminds me to do a tech request
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The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.
- John Kenneth Galbraith |
Edited by Norlander on 16-02-2012 07:52 |
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| Laluu | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Veteran | |
| | Group: Klikan
| | Location: Tórshavn | | Joined: 19.04.07 | | Posted on 28-06-2012 23:23 |
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Love this ad:
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"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown."
- H.P. Lovecraft
Laluu attached the following image:
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Edited by Laluu on 28-06-2012 23:24 |
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| Laluu | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Veteran | |
| | Group: Klikan
| | Location: Tórshavn | | Joined: 19.04.07 | | Posted on 22-08-2012 13:14 |
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Comedian Stewart Francis has won an award for the funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe.
The deadpan Canadian funnyman was given the prize by digital TV channel Dave, whose panel put a selection of their favourites to a public vote.
The top jokes were:
1. Stewart Francis - "You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks."
2. Tim Vine - "Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly. "
3. Will Marsh - "I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister."
4. Rob Beckett - "You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your book case."
5. Chris Turner - "I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don't know Y."
6. Tim Vine - "I took part in the sun tanning Olympics - I just got Bronze."
7. George Ryegold - "Pornography is often frowned upon, but that's only because I'm concentrating."
8. Stewart Francis - "I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!"
9. Lou Sanders - "I waited an hour for my starter so I complained: 'It's not rocket salad."
10. Nish Kumar - "My mum's so pessimistic, that if there was an Olympics for pessimism… she wouldn't fancy her chances."
Francis, who made his Edinburgh debut 15 years ago, has made appearances on British TV shows such as Mock the Week and Live at The Apollo.
Although born in Canada, both of Stewart's parents are British and he lives in the UK full-time with his Scottish wife.
Of his win, Stewart said: "1969 West Mall Soccer Association's Most Valuable Player, and now this."
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"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown."
- H.P. Lovecraft |
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| OKJones | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Commander | |
| | Group: Klikan
| | Location: Argir | | Joined: 12.06.06 | | Posted on 27-09-2012 07:26 |
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Nú tað stundar til jóla.
Her ein frálík uppskrift upp á russiskt gløgg:
5 fl. av russiskum vodka
1 rosinu
um fruktsmakkurin er ov sterkur. kanst tú sloyfa rosinuna :-) hikk
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Why would I want to end every post the same way? |
Edited by OKJones on 27-09-2012 07:26 |
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| Vuzman | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Admiral | |
| | Group: Klikan,
Outsiders,
Administrator,
Regulars
| | Location: Copenhagen, DK | | Joined: 10.06.06 | | Posted on 01-10-2012 13:51 |
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When I kill her, I'll have her
Die white girls, die white girls |
Edited by Vuzman on 01-10-2012 13:52 |
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| Vuzman | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Admiral | |
| | Group: Klikan,
Outsiders,
Administrator,
Regulars
| | Location: Copenhagen, DK | | Joined: 10.06.06 | | Posted on 16-10-2012 11:13 |
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When I kill her, I'll have her
Die white girls, die white girls |
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| Vuzman | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Admiral | |
| | Group: Klikan,
Outsiders,
Administrator,
Regulars
| | Location: Copenhagen, DK | | Joined: 10.06.06 | | Posted on 26-11-2012 12:57 |
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When I kill her, I'll have her
Die white girls, die white girls |
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| Laluu | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Veteran | |
| | Group: Klikan
| | Location: Tórshavn | | Joined: 19.04.07 | | Posted on 29-11-2012 14:32 |
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Tomorrow, Facebook will change its privacy settings to allow Mark Zuckerberg to come into your house while you sleep and eat your brains with a grapefruit spoon. To stop this from happening, go to Account> Home Invasion Settings> Cannibalism> Brains> Grapefruit, and uncheck the "Tasty" box. Please copy and repost
BTW - I don't get what's supposed to be funny about Vuzman's keyboard - aside from the fact that the dane's have to have their keys the opposite of the other scandinavians.
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"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown."
- H.P. Lovecraft |
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| Vuzman | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Admiral | |
| | Group: Klikan,
Outsiders,
Administrator,
Regulars
| | Location: Copenhagen, DK | | Joined: 10.06.06 | | Posted on 30-11-2012 09:34 |
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Laluu wrote:
BTW - I don't get what's supposed to be funny about Vuzman's keyboard - aside from the fact that the dane's have to have their keys the opposite of the other scandinavians.
I'm a fast typer, but I have to look at the keyboard while typing. Like most people. That keyboard seems like a cruel joke to us.
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When I kill her, I'll have her
Die white girls, die white girls |
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| Norlander | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Field Marshal | |
| | Group: Administrator,
Klikan,
Regulars,
Outsiders
| | Location: Copenhagen | | Joined: 09.06.06 | | Posted on 05-12-2012 00:34 |
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The bunk!
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The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.
- John Kenneth Galbraith
Norlander attached the following image:
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Edited by Norlander on 05-12-2012 00:35 |
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| Vuzman | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Admiral | |
| | Group: Klikan,
Outsiders,
Administrator,
Regulars
| | Location: Copenhagen, DK | | Joined: 10.06.06 | | Posted on 17-01-2013 14:44 |
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When I kill her, I'll have her
Die white girls, die white girls |
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| Norlander | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Field Marshal | |
| | Group: Administrator,
Klikan,
Regulars,
Outsiders
| | Location: Copenhagen | | Joined: 09.06.06 | | Posted on 13-03-2013 01:41 |
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"I though it was sad that they had that pop concert to commemorate Diana. I mean she didn't have much to do with pop music, did she? They should have done something that celebrated what was really great about her life - like staging a gangbang in a minefield."
"Dear Points of View. Watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy made me think that if I made gay friends they'd give me fashion tips - actually they fucked me."
"I think the anti speeding advert should be footage of Richard Hammond trying to remember his own wedding day."
Frankie Boyle's most offensive jokes
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The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.
- John Kenneth Galbraith |
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| Torellion | RE: Funny stuff |
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| | Group: Klikan
| | Joined: 08.06.06 | | Posted on 13-03-2013 11:36 | |
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"-I'll be back-
Somehow joker, I don't think you will be"
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